The reason for not coming in here making any entries for the past 1.5 weeks was because my hubby’s father passed away last Friday (28th October 2011).
It was all too sudden and when I received news for it, I thought it was a prank call. For that very moment, everything seems unreal while I scrambled to contact my hubby (as he was out of town). Whatever it was, I thank god for allowing hubby to come back safely to see his dad for the last time before the coffin lid closes on him.
A man whom I have not seen for more than twice for the past 2 years, I never thought that the last time I see him, it will be in this manner. Among all children and daughters-in-law, I was deem as the most outspoken, the most wilful and the one with the strongest opinion with what I want. There were constantly bickerings, and arguments between the two of us but in the admists of it, there were times where we can chat about nearly everything in life and I am most happy when he finishes all the stuff I cooked for him.
It was like a love-hate relationship between the 2 of us. Both strong headed, bad tempered and strongly opinionated. After an unhappy event 2 years ago, I thought that staying away was the best for us. I always thought that there is another day, another month and another year but this doesn’t seem to be the case. However with his demise all conflicts seems to be gone, leaving relationships cordial. With him no longer around, the heart seems hollow. It is totally different from not seeing him and him not being being around anymore.
For now, this is what I wish for him in his next life:
- To never cross path with me again.
- To be happier.
- To be healthier.
In Happier Times
To my hubby, I wish may the strength be with him, I know deep down, he is really upset. My father-in-law, was after all the best dad in his eyes. Not breaking down easily was because he needs to stay strong for his family.
As for my kids, they seem to young to understand the meaning of death but Damir is 1 child who never fails to amaze me. While I was trying to break the news to them, this was what I got from him.
- Me: Something happened to your gong gong (meaning grand dad in Hokkein) and we need to rush back.
- Damir: What???
- Me: Gong gong went to heaven already.
- Damir: Oh… you mean he die already?
I was dumbstruck I never thought he will understand the concept of what going to heaven means. So I never got a chance to explain any further to him.
My brother-in-law had another surprise with Damir too. As extracted from his Face Book, here was how their conversation goes.
- Damir: When is gong gong going to wake up?
- BIL: In a very long long time.
- Damir: Where is gong gong going?
- BIL: gong gong going to Heaven.
As we reached the columbarium…
- Damir: Pek Pek, is this place Heaven?
- BIL: … (don’t know whether to laugh or cry
P.S: For all these, I know the father-in-law will want us to live on strongly. He lives in our heart but the life goes on. Pa.. thanks for telling me that you love me a few years back when you were warded in ICU. This is some thing I will never forget and it means a lot to me. Thanks also for relenting so as to allow me to make the choices I want.
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