Love Me, Love Me Not, Love Me Most

Why such a crappy and old fashion topic today? Well because I woke up reading on a cousin’s facebook page, “Regardless e type of love involved, who will u love more? Ur life-time partner or ur kids?” It sets me pondering for a while before I replied, “My kids because I will always want my spouse to love me more.”

I guess my answer sounds totally ridiculous and selfish in the today’s world context especially when the subject of equality of sex has always been brought up.

I am not sure because I am a domineering person, a self-centred person as portrayed in my horoscope (I’m an Aries and am proud to be 1) or an insecured woman (for whatever reason I do not know), I just understand that there is no equality in my family because my words is the final verdict at home.

Whatever it is, I feel as a woman, it is a bliss to be loved more. I am not a believer of crappy draggy relationships where I have to give in to the guy whenever he is angry or a when a compromise cannot be reached (I will rather enjoy spinsterhood in this case). Even though I am a working individual as independent as my hubby, I don’t believe in splitting the bills except paying for my kids stuff (school, extra classes, etc, etc) and I still expect to be given a token sum for household groceries every month. I believe if he wants to marry me, it is his responsibility to provide for us. I am the sort of, “what is his is mine, what is mine is mine” even though I know I don’t look quite like that kind.

Call me a control freak or what so ever but I have came to the point to understand that a woman youth and functionality ages together with us while a man’s vitality grows and glows together with them. Call me crude or what so ever but it is so true isn’t it? So be it I am a domineering or unreasonable, I have made it very clear to my hubby that in our relationship he has the one to be loving me more.

If you ask me what are my hubby’s thoughts to my brashful and hot headed personality, I am not very sure because I can’t read his mind. I just know throughout our 12 years of relationship (5yrs dating and 7yrs marriage), he has definitely given me more than what he can (making me even more over bearing at times).

  • If in terms of material needs, I know he will try his very best to give me whatever I want.
  • In terms of monetary terms, he gives me nearly total freedom.
  • If ever I am in trouble, he will never leave me in the lurch.
  • If there is any disaster that I have unintentionally created, he will pick up the pieces behind me and still embrace me.
  • If there is any untrue nonsense being said about me, he will stand by me and gives me lots of reassurance despite me throwing any tantrums (no matter how big it is)
  • Despite how mega our arguments are (when I say mega it is really mega with me throwing things out and him yelling at me at the top of his lungs), at the end of the day, he is still the giving party.

He has given me, sided me, stood by me in many ways I believe not many guys can do these days.

Nope my hubby is not hen packed, because there are also times he sticks to his own beliefs and stands up to me. I guess I can just say, at the moment still, he still loves me a lot more than I do and cares a lot for how I feel.

For all these, I am a currently very blissful woman (though at times I don’t think like that when things don’t go my way).

Over the Years

Perhaps that is why I have been given 2 boys. The road is long with many more lessons to be learnt especially in guiding my boys on how to ‘balance’ out a relationship with their spouse in future. I have still to meet my match 🙂

For now, I just wish for my hubby to continue indulging me till we ever decides to call it quits.


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